User blog:Rena Charming/OUaT Ultimate Episode Ranking
Hello, my dear followers/subscribers/unconditional fans. This is Rena Charming, bringing to you the ultimate ranking of Once Upon a Time episodes, that I may finish someday. Basically, every episode of the first four seasons and the spin-off (every episode that has aired thus far, therefore) is going to be ranked below. I will try to be as objective as I can about them, but of course some bias is bound to seep in. 99. "Unforgiven" Written by Andrew Chambliss & Kalinda Vazquez Directed by Adam Horowitz It's an interesting notion that the lowest-ranking episode of the entire series is the only one so far directed by series co-creator Adam Horowitz. I don't blame his direction at all because I simply have no idea how to take notice of that stuff, how one's direction actually translates to what we see on-screen. No, to explain why this episode is the worst in OUaT history, let me put it this way: I first tried to watch this episode on livestream, but it kept cutting up, badly. Basically I got to see like half of it. And the Charmings spent that entire half telling the audience that they had to keep their secret hidden. For the entire duration of the episode, Mary Margaret and David kept saying the same things over and over and over again. Did no one who was involved in the making of this episode, from writers to producers to director to cast, anyone, notice that? Why must this series insist on treating us like idiots with Alzheimer's? We know the Charmings have a secret, we see that they're acting shady about it, maybe they don't need to constantly reminds us of that through their dialogue and stage whispering. Also, the flashback story is dull, unnecessary, a bit retcon-y and it sets up the stage for why Maleficent is really going after the Charmings instead of, say, Aurora? The one we expected/wanted/hoped for her to go after? Yes, suffice it to say, this episode put season 4 on a collision course from which it never properly recovered. Biggest Fault: The broken-recordness of the dialogue. Redeeming Quality: Cruella still manages to be amusing - remember the blood diamonds? 98. "Lily" Written by Andrew Chambliss & Dana Horgan Directed by Ralph Hemecker Sigh. You should expect to see a shitload of season 4 episodes occupying several of the last few slots on this ranking. Season 4 was mediocre-to-bad for the most part. "Lily" is an episode that... Ok, let's be honest, it is actually quite remarkable that, in the fourth season of the show, they managed to give Emma, the protagonist, well, so much protagonism. We all kinda thought she would limp to the barn after season 1, after she'd fulfilled her destiny, and above and beyond that we figured she would never really be a proper flashback character. To have so much focus given to Emma's life pre-Storybrooke that hadn't been covered before, this late in the show, is quite good. Give credit where credit is due. But, did we really need "Lily"? Did we need those particular flashbacks? What we were given here was an episode that featured the main action taking place in the real world, with flashbacks that take place in the real world. That's a real world overdose for a fairytale show and frankly more than I'm willing to take, especially seeing as how none of it was particularly entertaining. Emma pointing a gun at Lily was batshit crazy, but not in the good way. It wasn't high-stakes drama, it was a complete dumbfuckery. Nice to meet you where you been eat some lead. Really? This woman actually lived in the real world for 28 years, she knows how its laws work, she's a sheriff in the small town she lives in, what is she doing just pointing a gun at someone because, um, why was it again? Certainly not the stolen car. Oh she wanted to kill the Charmings. Bitch, so does everyone!!! I'm next in line, just sayin'. Biggest Fault: Honestly? Gold's false selfless act of giving Belle her heart back. I see right through you, crocodile! Redeeming Quality: I wanna say the little girl being persuaded with burgers because if there's two things I love it's kidnapping and childhood obesity, but maybe the pregnancy reveal. 97. "Family Business" Written by Kalinda Vazquez & Andrew Chambliss Directed by Mario Van Peebles Oh my God, you guys... Are we wrong? Were we wrong all along? The common denominator to the lowest-ranked three episodes is writer Andrew Chambliss. Seriously. We've been blaming Kalinda Vazquez for two years now, could it be someone else's fault?... Nah, she single-handedly ruined "Quiet Minds", and her name is still and will continue to be a common presence in these bottomers. Anyway, my hatred towards this episode is one for the ages, a classic really, something to tell the grandkids by the bonfire. It's the episode in which we learn our dear Belle of the books is too dumb to remember how one breathes in and out, but she survives long enough to carry the whole 42-minute chapter (save for when Anna and the Snow Queen swoop in and steal her thunder on occasion). Throughout this episode, we see past Belle trying to solve the most intricate riddle of all time, one that would stump the most blessed genius minds, and sacrificing another human soul to save her pet rock, and we see present Belle being a dominatrix and... well, let's make it as simple as this: she's supposedly holding the dagger that makes her husband do any and everything she commands of him, yet when she keeps shouting at him to let her go, let her the fuck go, as he holds her in the pawn shop, fuh-reaking out, he won't let go. Will not get his hands off her. She doesn't seem to remember that ever, to put two and two together. Aw, sweetie... I wanna slap and shake you and give your face a liposuction. This episode serves its purpose, I suppose, by introducing the watchamacallit glass and giving us a big hint as to what the arc's villain is after. But the downsize is, um, pretty much everything else. Biggest Fault: It was an ogre, Belle. It was a motherfucking ogre. Redeeming Quality: Hate me all you want, but I dug Oaken. 96. "Lacey" Written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz Directed by Milan Cheylov The creators of the series sure like to pen an odd selection of episodes. Premieres and finales are a given, but then there's the occasional headscratcher like "Dreamy" or effing "Lacey". This episode epitomizes the fact that they just did not know what to do with Belle when they shoved her in the main cast with little to no preparation for season 2, and it makes me wonder this: why bother by now? 3 episodes before the season ends, why give a rat's ass what you do with a character who's been in the hospital for 8 chapters already? Actually, I'm probably being incoherent right now... I often complain about how the writers' solution to a problem in their show is sweeping it under the rug, rather than atoning by it. But... if Lacey is what we get to make up for Belle being wasted, then... No, please no. That's a poisoned gift. Obviously, the Lacey persona went nowhere after season 2 - hasn't ever even been mentioned since, as a matter of fact. This episode could get some extra points for introducing Robin Hood but then again Tom effing Ellis, yunno? Sigh. Biggest Fault: Can the severe nurse please be severe? PLEASE?! Just looking it won't cut it. Redeeming Quality: The return of the "never-misses-its-target" bow was bae. 95. "Selfless, Brave and True" Written by Robert Hull & Kalinda Vazquez Directed by Ralph Hemecker We have a saying in Portugal that means one evil doesn't ever travel solo, which is probably why these two atrocities aired in sequence. Season 2 sure took a turn for the worse following Cora's demise, and while we had long been wanting to know what happened to August, the answer was far from satisfactory (as was the typewriter reveal, 'member that?), and while I am not of the many, many people who hated the character's reset to his childhood days (I found it kinda cool?) or even the so-called magic taser (lmao), I have to be objective to an extent, and there seems to be a worldwide consensus that 2.18 sucks. I have to jump on that bandwagon, really, not because of the many flaws scattered throughout the episode, but simply because... yawn. God, is this a boring one. Biggest Fault: Bitch, did you really have cancer? How dareth thou lieth about thateth? Redeeming Quality: MM bitch-slapping Geppetto; don't we all wanna slap the elderly every now and then? Stop being so old, nothing gives you the right!! 94. "Rocky Road" Written by David H. Goodman & Jerome Schwartz Directed by Morgan Beggs Why do most OUaT episodes have two writers? Lazy mofos. Kind of a good thing how only two seasons have been featured so far, right? For the other seasons, I mean. Anyway, yawn again. Double yawn. The flashback story was just a steeming pile of boring crap in this one, and Kristoff established himself as thoroughly unlikable despite the writers' best attempts at making him a bubbly, fun character. I don't blame the actor, at all, just the writing, but Kristoff was as annoying as that one tiny-ass coffee stain in your white shirt that no one else would notice but drives you insane to the point you have to go home and change. The Snow Queen was... it took me a while to warm up to her haha get it fuck you. Biggest Fault: All the references to Frozen make you wanna castrate yourself. Redeeming Quality: Will Scarlet. Yes, Will was the redeeming quality of ONE season 4 episode. Good for him? 93. "Going Home" Written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz Directed by Ralph Hemecker Here's where the bias kicks in. Objectively, "Going Home" is widely regarded as one of the best episodes by the fans, a lot of whom seem to think it would have been perfect as a series finale. Because there's something so emotionally gratifying about Regina giving away Henry completely and making sure he never remembers her ever. The stuff that happy endings are made of. I have a lot of issues with this episode, no matter how much others try to take them away through reasonable explanations. At the end of the day, Rumple died killing Pan because. Ok? Because. OUaT is always hitting us over the head with the characters explaining in great detail everything that is happening at the moment, through repetitive dialogue. Subtlety is not the show's strongest suit, but in this case, I could have gone with overexposition because... wtf happened? I just. Don't. Get it. Am I dumb? Well, of course. Is the show dumb too? Fuck yeah. Also, what's with the flashbacks? OUaT had never done random flashbacks devoted to several characters before, and it hasn't since either. Why in that particular episode? Because, let's face it, only one of them (Henry's) was relevant. Snow's flashback mostly set up stuff involving the Blue Fairy that never really got payoff when the author was revealed the next season. And of course, as usual, a good scene was deleted to make room for ad breaks - Regina's flashback. So everyone got a flashback except Regina. Guest starring her father. That's cool. Totally fair. And don't get me started on the dumbfuckery that was the Blue Fairy getting her shadow ripped... Biggest Fault: Belle drops to the floor like a sack of rocks and nobody so much as pats her back and says "there, there". Redeeming Quality: Gold totally chopped his hand off, right? Badass. 92. "Enter the Dragon" Written by David H. Goodman & Jerome Schwartz Directed by Ralph Hemecker Give it up for season 4, everyone! Churning out more bad episodes than any other season before it, the fourth really takes the gold in that category. So what's wrong with this episode? Well, it's just rather mediocre, isn't it? It's basically an episode that is supposed to deliver on all sorts of fronts but fails to do so regarding every single one of them. Going into the episode, they promoted the hell out of a possible internal struggle for Regina - would she turn evil again after getting another taste of darkness? We knew she wouldn't, so I didn't care much for that, but they still could have made it more interesting than having the Queens of Darkness play chicken on a motherfucking traintrack. Sigh. There's a train. Buses out of Storybrooke don't exactly happen, but there's trains. Just... inside the town? Or is it how they actually get their supplies, cos... all those people gotta eat, right? Why am I asking questions that will never be answered? On with the other things 4.14 gets wrong: I don't need to explain in great detail how bummed I am about the way Aurora's backstory was addressed. She didn't get a centric episode. Nothing about it was personal, Mal simply hated her family, not Aurora per se, but we still don't know to this day why she does hate the family. It was the only time we saw Aurora in a new dress and it didn't make a lick of sense. Also, place the girl better on the bed thingy, ok? She was all crooked, not very classy, it made me sad. Also, as random as Book Thief was as a ship (still the best ship name ever, let's be honest), they could have still used it to make Will relevant. Nope! Oh but this episode brings back August, so that's a plus... until he looks straight into the fucking camera. I am utterly unable to even. Biggest Fault: Seriously, Will looks confused and kinda scared to even be dating Belle. Redeeming Quality: Mal getting high off of sleeping curses was a bit edgy for OUaT, and I'm all about that. 91. "And Straight On 'Til Morning" Written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz Directed by Dean White Be honest, you're surprised it took so long to get to this episode. This was just a straight-up mess. For magic-hating agents, Greg and Tamara are sure not above using magic to get their way. The memory-loss problems were solved offscreen by the suddenly helpful Blue Fairy. The whole crisis with Storybrooke being almost destroyed proved to be rather pointless, but I guess not as pointless as the switcheroo in the season 4 finale. The second season finale put an end to a string of mediocre-to-bad episodes that clearly showed us the writers were willing to throw everything they had previously set up away in order to make room for Neverland and they just could not be arsed to give a proper fuck with anything else. The episode's drama manages to be compelling enough though. Only barely. Biggest Fault: The boring-ass flashbacks. Redeeming Quality: Aurora. 90. "The New Neverland" Written by Andrew Chambliss Directed by Ron Underwood Andrew Chambliss. Lmao. I really don't know how episodes are planned and distributed amongst the writers, but Chambliss sure gets to pen a lot of the crappier ones, doesn't he? Oh well. The Neverland arc left us with a lot of unanswered questions we can only guess at. What was the Shadow exactly, and why was it willing to be Pan's lap dog despite being so powerful? What actually happened to Greg after his own shadow was ripped off? How did Tinker Bell make it to Neverland? With that arc reaching its closing, they could have maybe shed some light on a bunch of stuff. Instead they opted to treat us to an unnecessary flashback of Snow and Charming going up against Medusa. In an episode that has "Neverland" in the title. Can you? Because I can't. Look, it's not a bad episode exactly, and the Medusa story is slightly entertaining, certainly better than a lot of other filler flashbacks we got, but it still counts as a massive creative misstep, of which the show has plenty. Biggest Fault: Everyone is just hugging Henry in Pan's body with no reluctance whatsoever. Like... ok, it's Henry, but it's still the bad guy's body. That'd give me pause. How about you? Redeeming Quality: Ariel wearing f***-me heels. 89. "Quiet Minds" Written by Kalinda Vazquez Directed by Eagle Egilsson Kalinda Vazquez announced some time ago that she was leaving the OUaT writing crew to pursue other projects. Good riddance to bad rubbish, we say. In her defense, we can't attribute every single creative misstep of the show to an individual episode's writers - the major things are all brought up in the writers' room and we have no way of knowing who came up with what, but the fact that it gets approved and makes it to paper and onscreen is everyone's fault. Some individual must have suggested the premise of Belle's quest in 4.06, but a consensus on it was surely reached by those morons in the writing room. So Kalinda is most likely not even to blame for the episodic Dark One vault (that better come back into play in season 5...), the death of a main character that early on in the season/new arc, or, God, even the dumbfuckery that was Gold and Neal wearing different clothes whenever one came to the surface over the other. But Neal's incessant dying speech... yeah I blame Kalinda. She made the death of a main character BORING. So boring... And Michael Raymond-James, whose acting was never on par (why was he always SHOUTING?), certainly didn't bring an A-game to his death scene. Him sounding like a baby made it cringey and painful to watch, and I'm pretty sure he made Carlyle act worse as well (when you play opposite a lesser partner, your game suffers). Overall, "Quiet Minds" was a letdown for an episode that should have been one of the big ones. Biggest Fault: So, what the fuck happened to Lumière? Right, the writers don't actually care. Redeeming Quality: Belle and Bae interacting so much, that was actually cool and overdue. 88. "A Tale of Two Sisters" Written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz Directed by Ralph Hemecker A lot of the worst episodes of the show are considered the worst, by us, simply because they oughta be better due to being premieres, finales, climax episodes, etc. You just expect those episodes to really deliver, right? Either set up or wrap up stories the right way. So when you return after a long hiatus to an episode that is as low-key and boring as the season 4 premiere was, it's a tremendous, frustrating letdown. I have to admit, this episode in particular has grown on me better than other disappointing shoulda-but-didn'a episodes (like the season 2 finale), particularly because I actually like Anna and her portrayal. But that doesn't take away from this episode being so, so tame. Was anyone actually left caring about where Anna was by the clunky way this clunkier episode ended? Biggest Fault: You know me well enough to know that I think this episode's biggest fault is the beginning of the downfall of Robin Hood and that whole story that had the potential to be one of the show's greatest. This show wipes its ass with potential though. Just look at Will. Redeeming Quality: I was gonna say Sven's superb acting, but the mofo reindeer actually looked right into the camera long before August did, soooo... Idunno, getting Sidney out? 87. "7:15 A.M." Written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz (story) & Daniel T. Thomsen (teleplay) Directed by Ralph Hemecker What the actual fuck is "story" and "teleplay"? Never got it. I once looked it up but I think even then I didn't get it. Anyway, this is the first season 1 episode on the list, and it gets me a-thinkin'... the reason why this episode is ranked so low is because it's boring. And there was actually a lot of tame stuff going on in the present-day Storybrooke action in season 1. Nowadays, we miss said boring stuff because it's gotten tiring seeing the heroes always chasing after some bad guy or trying to save someone. But would we actually be happy if they just stopped and tried to set birds free to meet their flocks again? OUaT faces many problems, the biggest of which being that it can't please everyone - considering how divided and aggressive the shipper groups are, that's only inevitable. Maybe we, the fans, just don't know what we want. Or we know all too well what we want and they consistently fail to give it to us. I don't know what the proper answer is, it's like an existential crisis. Anyway, the season 1 flashbacks featured a lot of chapters on the Snow White/Prince Charming story, and this was the most boring, least memorable one. Biggest Fault: The title. I loathe the title of this episode. It's just wrong. Damn numbers... Redeeming Quality: The 8th dwarf. 86. "Trust Me" Written by Rina Mimoun Directed by Romeo Tirone And we follow the first season 1 episode with the first spin-off episode. Voila! This one is also not a bad one, and I actually really like the story it sets up with Jafar and the Red Queen wanting to use the power of the genies and wishes and what-not to become the most powerful wizards of all time. Seems like a plausible thing a villain would be after, to have that much power. Puts Ingrid's quest for surrogate sisters to shame, really. But it's also a rather forgettable installment in the series, which is forgiven because it's still working on setting up the main plot and re-introducing Wonderland as this quirky dimension where anything is possible. The biggest problem, I'd say, is the flashback story. "Snow Falls" treated us to a convoluted drama surrounding the meeting of Snow White and Prince Charming, the show's anchor couple, and all the shenanigans they got themselves into as they fell in love with one another. For Alice and Cyrus? Well, they met and fell in love. Hardly thrilling. Biggest Fault: The White Rabbit's sole flashback. Sigh. Redeeming Quality: Silvermist? Idunno. 85. "Tiny" Written by Christine Boylan & Kalinda Vazquez Directed by Guy Ferland It's common knowledge that I miss the show doing filler stories that don't really lead anywhere but show the typical OUaT twist on a classic tale. Them doing their own version of "Jack and the Beanstalk" feels very organic and extra special because it's a classic not overly tampered with by Disney, which gets its money-grabbing claws on everything old-timey. However, this episode does count as a bit of a dud, doesn't it? Jorge Garcia's acting was finally revealed as subpar on this show, thank God (I never defended him much on Lost, despite his huge popularity), and basically what we get is a filler everything, flashback-wise and present-wise. Pretty sure we have an entire episode worth of Gold and company about to board a plane and the Storybrookers running from a giant. And Cora having brought Anton over in the first place is about as puzzling as anything can be on this show. And the one extra special bit of continuity that would have satisfied us greatly - the whereabouts of D.A. Spencer - was a deleted scene. Neat-o. Biggest Fault: Greg and Belle meeting was a whole bunch of nothing, wasn't it? Hey, at least she watched Exposé on the telly! Redeeming Quality: The inclusion of the real Prince James (plus David's name revealed... as David), and Jack being a femme - a classic small twist that worked wonders and felt whimsical, then Blackpunzel happened and we felt guilty for ever having praised any change these writers made. 84. "In the Name of the Brother" Written by Jane Espenson Directed by Milan Cheylov Yeah no way you're surprised, these two episodes go together like 2.18 and 2.19 do, they suck in rather equal amounts as pairs. I think we all wondered how Dr. Whale could ever carry an episode by himself in order to provide more insight on his counterpart, he just didn't seem like a character that could hold his own for 40 minutes. I think the overall premise/set-up of this episode is pretty good, and doesn't bother me much, it's the execution that leaves something to be desired, because, well, clearly it's not a very good/popular episode. And the flashback story, unfortunately, manages to be the bigger letdown, because it's just rather dull. A take on the Frankenstein story should be more grim, darker. And two years and a half later we still don't know what happened to Gerhardt because the show doesn't ever seize the moment and wrap up a story properly, they always leave doors open for the future that are probably never gonna get closed, simply because they can't lock their actors down. Biggest Fault: I was perplexed by guest star Gregory Itzin's awful portrayal of papa Frankenstein, his acting was dreadful. Redeeming Quality: Ruby being worth a damn. That didn't happen much. 83. "Forget Me Not" Written by Richard Hatem Directed by David Solomon I think that making some of the main characters from the spin-off double as tertiary characters from other fairytales and legends is a stroke of genius that the Once-verse should feature more often. The Knave of Hearts being revealed as a former member of Robin Hood's Merry Men is a nice way of tying the character with the original show (alas, let's not get into how that factored into season 4...). Sean Maguire reprised his role for this episode, they brought back Kristin Bauer to do a voice-over cameo, so, suffise it to say, we were all kind of excited for this installment in the new series. That being said, it's really not all that special, is it? It proves to be a major setback for the Red Queen when she idly stands by as a poor man she once had disfigured is killed by her new partner-in-crime (we tend to gloss over her wrongdoings), and whereas the villains mostly just sit around (as does Cyrus) whilst testing the heroes, the latter ones get lost in an adventure that doesn't really lead them anywhere. Biggest Fault: First episode to feature the White Rabbit but not John Lithgow voicing him. Redeeming Quality: The logical reveal of the Red Queen as Will's former flame, Anastasia. 82. "Operation Mongoose" Written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz Directed by Romeo Tirone & Ralph Hemecker Again with the objectivity. Were it up to me, this episode would rank lower. Wait, it is up to me. But... look, I don't know. I just know this was a crap-fest, like a sum mash-up of everything that's wrong with the show, from dull execution of slightly interesting premises to superficial character development, passing by fucked-up logic and lack of guest stars, this episode truly is as disappointing as they come. For a season finale, and a (supposedly) very special one at that, it's just a big no-no. Kudos to the writers for making Henry a more central figure for a while there (acting aside, it was overdue), but they had to counterbalance it by making Isaac's drive be so idiotic, even by their standards, and at this moment their standards have hit the ground. I mean, Merida is coming, guys, and just like the Frozen cast, her movie is canon and her personality untouched. They have no fucks left to give, but unfortunately we still do, and therefore we still subject ourselves to this. We should know better. But we're stupider than they are. Biggest Fault: The credits say "Part 1 written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz" and "Part 2 written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz"... Holy fuck, even the credits are stupid. Redeeming Quality: I guess it really is Henry's protagonism. It's neither short-lived nor overly prolonged, seems just about right. 81. "Best Laid Plans" Written by Kalinda Vazquez & Jane Espenson Directed by Ron Underwood You know there's something wrong with the world when Kalinda Vazquez, OUaT's most notorious bad writer, gets billed in an episode before Jane Espenson, her polar opposite. I guess the end result truly is "Best Laid Plans", an episode that, while not all that bad or even unmemorable (hard to forget Snow White the baby-snatcher), it still manages to rank in the 80s portion of this list. Hard to give praise to an episode that continues the horrid arc that was Maleficent's inclusion back in the series or that introduces the long-awaited Author, four years into the show, in the form of Isaac Heller/Patrick Fischler (double sin). And while we appreciate the Cinderella reference, let's not forget the shameless (SHAMELESS) way the writers explain away the fact that Snow and Charming were told about the curse by Maleficent even though it seemed, back in the pilot, like they were hearing about it for the first time from Rumplestiltskin: "Let's never speak of it again." Ha. Biggest Fault: Everyone falls under a sleeping curse except those who had already been placed under it, but no one bothers to even bring up Aurora. Shouldn't she fuh-reak the fuck out when she can't wake up her baby and husband? Redeeming Quality: Kristin Bauer's acting, working its way into our hearts despite the thankless arc she's given. 80. "Bad Blood" Written by Jane Espenson Directed by Ciaran Donnelly While there's something satisfying to finally getting the full picture (so far, at least) on Jafar's background, especially, the confirmation that the old prisoner is his father the Sultan, the present-day action in this episode is a bit of a drag, is it not? Not only is it a wash because, by the time our heroes make it to the floating island (awesome setting, btw) the person they're trying to rescue is already gone, but we get so much out of them just preparing to get there. Alice reuniting with her father/Jafar is emotionally rewarding to an extent, and the way their story wraps up with the wish and the dream sequence is honestly very interesting - and thnakfully salvaged by the series finale. But all in all, this episode suffers from a lack of Anastasia, painting the Sultan (a previously likable character) in very unflattering colors, and present-day stalling. Just a thought though: Jafar is brought back to life by his mother's life essence. Did she, like, predict her son would die? And if so, couldn't she predict that he'd turn super evil? Maybe she shoulda nipped that in the bud and just let him die... Biggest Fault: A wasted opportunity that mirrors the writers' inability to properly mess up with classic characters. If you have Jafar and the Sultan, why not just make Cyrus Aladdin? Because they have to preserve Aladdin and his lady-love Jasmine for later. Can't mess with that ship! Sigh... Redeeming Quality: Cinderella's keychain makes a cameo and Granny gets a mention. I dug that. 79. "The Evil Queen" Written by Jane Espenson & Christine Boylan Directed by Gwyneth Horder-Payton Huh. Three Espenson episodes in a row. That... seems wrong, doesn't it? Anyway, 2.20 was never a peeve for me, but it is a slightly unpopular episode with many fans, due to its unnecessary flashback that's very unflattering to Regina, the presence of Greg and Tamara and how they deal with Maleficent offscreen, the sudden turn of events with an introduction of a failsafe trigger meant to undo the curse or something (I honestly don't even know anymore)... Let's just say that all sorts of things were wrong all at once at this point in time. Lacey, for crying out loud. It's like the writers were having a bad idea contest, seeing how much suckage they could pour into each of those last few episodes of season 2. Seriously, how could the show get that bad that fast? Biggest Fault: I am forced to suspend my disbelief over Snow and Charming sitting under the rain, under a blanket, by the docks, just so Regina could eavesdrop on them. My best guess is Sheriff Nolan was doing his rounds, MM was tagging along, and they took a break and tried to make it as comfy as possible. But, still, it was drizzling. Have your coffee inside the fucking truck maybe? Redeeming Quality: "About as regal as a potato." Potatos are fun, and nutritious. 78. "The Doctor" Written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz Directed by Paul Edwards OUaT's very own Halloween episode was a bit moo, wasn't it? While we learn that Regina brought Daniel over and that kinda makes sense, we still don't know for sure if she brought Henry Sr. too or just where the heck Gerhardt Frankenstein is, issues that are brought up in this very episode too. Also, just why was Daniel so insane in the membrane upon being resurrected? Was it cos the heart in his chest wasn't actually his? Why is Archie's advice so bad? I wouldn't think you'd need a PhD to know that Regina channels all her rage towards Snow because it's easier to blame her than it is to blame her scary, controlling mother, but Archie does have a PhD - magical or not - and he can't seem to get there. Just a testament to how the characters on this show never say the right things at the right time and so much is always left unsaid. Regina erasing Daniel from existence was also odd to take in. If she and Zelena can just kill people by poofing them, then... why don't they? Like, more often? It's as easy as cutting a fart for them but nope they always gotta go for the Darth Vader choking when it's never brought them results. Biggest Fault: I don't know, motherfucking Virgin Mary statue. Redeeming Quality: Aurora being waited on. Princess does not get up to fetch herself a glass of water, no she does not. Princess is princess and she's better than you. 77. "Nasty Habits" Written by David H. Goodman & Robert Hull Directed by David Boyd Okay, so I might have been a bit generous when ranking this episode... I made this list a long time ago and didn't double check it, so there. This episode is a total wash and we all knew it would be a total wash as it was unfolding for the first time before our very eyes. We predicted it, and that helped to make it all the more frustrating. Yes, this episode spends a lot of time getting Gold and Neal to save Henry only to have it be annulled at the end, with the kid having no recollection of any of it whatsoever. Also, Pan being the Pied Piper of Hamelin came at a time when I was pretty fed up with characters taking on multiple roles. I've adjusted to that, but it still hindered my appreciation of the episode back then. Biggest Fault: They cut out the scene featuring classical character Rip Van Winkle. Why do they always cut out the good stuff? Is that why episodes are typically so crappy? Redeeming Quality: It's common knowledge now that Jared Gilmore farted in MRJ's face during this episode. God bless his flatulence. Category:Blog posts